When I hit rock bottom I lost two weeks of my life in hospital. Now as a recovering alcoholic, I feel happier being alone at Christmas, writes Sam Thomas
“My drinking was a symptom of unresolved trauma passed down the generations. The only way of breaking that pattern was tackling that trauma and my drinking head on” (
Image: Getty)
There wasn’t a single moment – let alone a happy moment – I remember from the last Christmas I was drinking in 2018.
What I do remember is being admitted to A&E in a drunken state amid a mental health crisis on Christmas Eve and discharged the following morning. Next minute, it was my birthday on January. 8 Truth be told, I don’t recall any events during that fortnight.
In November of 2019, I was in hospital undergoing what I hope will be my fourth and final detox. I was experiencing one of my most serious episodes of alcohol withdrawal to date after cutting back my drinking too quickly – my symptoms included severe shakes, fever-like symptoms, and terrifying hallucinations. Given the state I was in, I had no question in my mind that I wanted to quit for good this time.
For many people who are alcohol dependent , they may not realise stopping drinking abruptly (eg going “cold turkey”) can be extremely dangerous. To put it into perspective, I easily drank four bottles of wine in any 24-hour period that had gradually built up over the space of eight years.
‘I was easily drinking four bottles of wine a day at my worst point’
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The first significant test of my sobriety was a solo holiday to Gran Canaria three weeks after I completed the detox. Even with a bottle of complementary Cava in the fridge left by the owners of my rented bungalow, I left after a week in the sun without touching a drop.
The next big challenge I faced was Christmas and New Year, and that year I decided to spend it on my own. While Christmas may be viewed as a time for family, I realised it was one of my major triggers.
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For me, my drinking was a symptom of unresolved trauma passed down the generations. The only way of breaking that pattern was tackling that trauma and my drinking head on – something my elder family members were never able to address.
On the big day, I cooked an unconventional Christmas dinner with Spanish-style chicken. For the most part, I watched trashy telly – which I never normally allowed myself to do.
‘My first sober Christmas was oddly empowering’
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What I found was that I was far from isolated. In fact, I found it empowering doing it on my own, my …….
Source: https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/health/christmas-recovering-alcoholic-being-alone-25686703